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Dad’s Answer to Everything

September 21, 2009

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (100 votes, average: 3.83 out of 5)
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“Yale student’s story on newspaper is horrible. So, be careful and have a few friends always. DRESS CONSERVATIVELY!!”

{ 2 comments }

DANGER! DO NOT ENTER.

September 18, 2009

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (181 votes, average: 4.79 out of 5)
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rat

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Sense of Shock & Urgency

September 15, 2009

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (343 votes, average: 4.89 out of 5)
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It was the morning of my twenty third birthday and I get a call from my Dad.

Dad: HAPPY 17TH BIRTHDAY!
Me: Dad, I’m 23 today.
Dad: 23? You know, If you don’t get married in the next two years you are going to die alone.
Me: Um, Thanks dad I have to go.

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Money…with strings attached.

September 12, 2009

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (179 votes, average: 4.65 out of 5)
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Dear Jadeboo,

Mom told me the good news that you have good responses from the interviews. Congratulations!!  We know you can do that.

However, there is one thing that we worry about you.  You never dress-up and never spend time in “make-up” like many of your friends or your sister. However, the first impression in the interview is going to be very important.  We just send you money via paypal to your Washington Mutual account.  Half of it is for you to buy some good dresses and shoes for your interview.  The other half is for your moving in the coming weeks.  You are welcome to spend a small amount in dining which is one of your favorites. However, keep it small!!!  Haaha!

Love,
Dad

__________________________

I replied, assuring them that I am perfectly presentable at interviews, with a full suit and matching jewelry.  This was his response:

Send us a good picture of that.  We would love to see it.

Dad

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I love you 999 times!

September 9, 2009

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (221 votes, average: 4.80 out of 5)
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Email from my dad:

It is 2009/09/09/9am. Just wanted to let you know I love you and thank you very much for your love and friendship. Much appreciated!

I just thought it was the sweetest thing ever….

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Vulcan Salute Wedding Toast

September 9, 2009

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (208 votes, average: 4.74 out of 5)
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Dad: blah blah wedding speech blah blah…[insert Spock's Vulcan salute here] Live long and prosper.

Needless to say, my dad has been into Star Trek for a very long time.

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SEXY MODE

September 9, 2009

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (727 votes, average: 4.89 out of 5)
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I was knocking to go into my parents bed since their master bedroom washroom has the stored toothpaste & my washroom had ran out of toothpaste.

As I was on my way to my parents room, before I even knock, my dad yells out loud, “DO NOT ENTER! I AM IN SEXY MODE!”

I’m guessing, or pretty sure that he was changing into his pajamas.

{ 14 comments }

Strategies

September 6, 2009

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (234 votes, average: 4.73 out of 5)
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My eight-year-old cousin was playing Pokemon recently, and he was trying to figure out which Pokemon he should pitch against a gym leader that specialized in Bug Pokemon.

I suggested to him that he could use Fire and Flying Pokemon. He didn’t believe me and went to ask my dad.

My dad told him he could use Bug Spray…

{ 3 comments }

What’s for dinner?

September 6, 2009

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (70 votes, average: 4.10 out of 5)
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Conversation with my father, via texts:

Dad: We have decided to go for scrap rice tomorrow. You’ll like it.
Jenny: Dad do you mean crab rice tomorrow?
Dad: And steamed pawn. Its really nice.

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Crazy Hypothetical Situations

September 5, 2009

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (482 votes, average: 4.89 out of 5)
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Me: What’s wrong with me driving?
Dad: You drive, car accident, kill people, sue our house and take money, you injure cannot go back to school, take away your scholarship, now family have no money to pay for Berkeley, you get kick out of Columbia, we have no home – all because you want drive.
Me: Okay.

{ 10 comments }