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Apparently I’d fallen asleep while chatting with my mum the other night. She was worried that I was stressed and not sleeping/eating well. Dad told me this today, so I tried to assuage him by telling him my sleeping was regular, and that I’d been doing well on the eating front. I told him that for dinner, I had leftover beef noodle soup (牛肉麺) with soba noodles and a cucumber/avocado/grapefruit salad with a grated ginger/ground sesame seeds/ponzu dressing. This was his reply.
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An actual email written by my dad to my youngest brother, which he graciously cc’ed to the rest of the family. At the time, my brother Jon was studying abroad in China.
Jon,
Morgan forwarded your e-mail to him to us. We understand you bought a bike. I hope you will be careful in riding the bike in China. Most of the time they are not obeying the traffic rules. The car never allow bike or pedestrian go first. The car and other biker make turns without signaling. I hope you will be on guard all the time when you are ridding your bike. We don’t want you to get hurt. Your mother wants you to put wet towel on your neck if you feel too hot outside. Keep the chocolate with you until we told you to contact him. Are you using the clean wipe to clean the chopstick and bowl before eating? When you had loose stool, did you take the pill? You should take the pill as soon as you don’t feel right. It always worked for me and stopped the problem right away.
Love you,
Ma and Dad
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While vacationing in Xi’an, my dad explained the story of Emperor Xuanzong and his favorite concubine, Yang Guifei.
Me: WHAT? He had that many wives??!
Dad: Yes, but Yang Guifei was his favorite cucumber.
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This is the birthday card that I got from my father and his wife this year.
A few things:
1) Dad picked out the card. The handwriting is his.
2) I love cats, but I’ve never owned one.
3) I turned 46 this year.
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Three offenses in quick succession:
- Dad joins Facebook
- Dad misspells his own name in his profile
(Chinese can be bad at plurals, but on their own names?)
- First photo comment, on a picture of my pregnant sister in her newly decorated nursery:
“The nursery is really shapping up, the animal mobile is a great hit, and Audrey you look like carrying a twins.”
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I don’t talk to my dad often while I’m in school, but I was panicking about my immense amount of work and, seeking reassurance, had the following text conversation with him:
me: So I should just be able to work all night and get it done, right?
(a minute later)
me: Well?
Dad: I hope so!
(7 minutes later)
Dad: A hole in the ground with water in it.
me: What??
Dad: A well.
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So I emailed my dad an update about dorm life and all the people I’ve met and this was his response…
For those annoying people, try to stay away. Do not show your dislike them, especially in public. You need to hang on old friends. Do not dump them when you have new friends. Decide not to go to Tucker’s audition? You are dumping your Cello.
We miss you very much
Love
Dad
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HI, Gina,
How is the mattress? If it is still hurts, you need to see a Doctor. You need to get used to the new job. If the work load is too much, you can talk to your manager. Does everyone work that long hours? It should be getting better as it goes. The current heavy load may be
cumulated as people are expecting your arriver. The two years working experience is very important to your career. I will talk to you this weekend. Julie got a new god last night, 6 weeks old. it pees everywhere.
Hanging there
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“Yale student’s story on newspaper is horrible. So, be careful and have a few friends always. DRESS CONSERVATIVELY!!”
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