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The following is an unsolicited email from my father, with a subject line of “Useful Information”:
1) College freshmen: Larks (early to bed and early riser), owls (late to bed and late riser), robins (in between Larks and Owls). Grade point average for Larks 3.18 Owls 2.84.
2) 1990s, Public Health Department at JHU discovered that taking zinc tablets can stop diarrhea. Exact mechanism is not known. Each year diaherria killed 1.6 million children in Africa and Asia.
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I’m a Masters student in English Literature applying to Phd programs next year, and since I spoke to my dad about applying to schools in Australia, UK and Canada, my dad sent me this email about a potential school to look into.
haro girl,
Do you rember last time I told you to apply to that Universtiy in the uK call cow something one? It is Top univeirsty in your field, apparetnly i heard your aunt Josie say Ming Ur cousin got acpted. Mebe you can consider it as well.
Love from Home,
your Daddy
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So I emailed my dad an update about dorm life and all the people I’ve met and this was his response…
For those annoying people, try to stay away. Do not show your dislike them, especially in public. You need to hang on old friends. Do not dump them when you have new friends. Decide not to go to Tucker’s audition? You are dumping your Cello.
We miss you very much
Love
Dad
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Dad: Son, remember that time in 3rd grade when you cut that girl’s hair and her mom came up to me a few days later and told me that my son cut her daughter’s hair?
Me: Uhh… yes…
Dad: Well, I just don’t want a girl’s mom to come up to me and tell me that her daughter is pregnant with my son’s child. OK?
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