(215 votes, average: 4.73 out of 5)
Loading ...I called my Dad to wish him Happy Birthday. It turns out my parents were out shopping at the outlets.
He said, “I’m in the car waiting. You know your Mom. Always shopping. First for handbags at the Dooney Dooney. Then Coach something. Coach First Class, whatever.”
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(168 votes, average: 4.68 out of 5) Loading ...We asked our parents to officiate at our wedding. When it was my father-in-law’s turn to speak, he looked around proudly and recited…
“Who takes this broad to be his lawfully wedded wife?”
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(110 votes, average: 2.49 out of 5) Loading ...I received an email from my dad this week with only a subject line that said “Self Massage.” There wasn’t a message, just a video file, also titled “Self Massage.”
With a subject line like that I wasn’t sure what my dad was trying to tell me. Why does he think I need a massage? What exactly am I supposed to be self-massaging? Is it because I am stressed out with school? Or is it because I’m single and don’t have someone else to massage me in places I would otherwise be able to massage myself.
I finally opened the video a couple days later. Turns out, dad sent me a CCTV (Chinese television) clip of a doctor explaining ways to give yourself a head massage. I’m now supposed to rub my temple clockwise 20 times a day. Thanks for looking out, dad.
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(116 votes, average: 4.28 out of 5) Loading ...This is for you Viet people out there.
My dad is Japanese and my mom is Vietnamese. Today we went to a Vietnamese restaurant and as we were packing up the leftovers, my dad went so far as to label the containers. The container of rice (com in vietnamese) read “Gum”. Another container containing soup (Canh Chua) read “Gun Jew”. The container of meat (thit kho) read “Tikkaw”. I couldn’t stop laughing even after we got home!
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(727 votes, average: 4.89 out of 5) Loading ...I was knocking to go into my parents bed since their master bedroom washroom has the stored toothpaste & my washroom had ran out of toothpaste.
As I was on my way to my parents room, before I even knock, my dad yells out loud, “DO NOT ENTER! I AM IN SEXY MODE!”
I’m guessing, or pretty sure that he was changing into his pajamas.
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(234 votes, average: 4.73 out of 5) Loading ...My eight-year-old cousin was playing Pokemon recently, and he was trying to figure out which Pokemon he should pitch against a gym leader that specialized in Bug Pokemon.
I suggested to him that he could use Fire and Flying Pokemon. He didn’t believe me and went to ask my dad.
My dad told him he could use Bug Spray…
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(389 votes, average: 4.90 out of 5) Loading ...A few years ago my mum went away for a few days on a vacation, leaving me, my dad and two younger brothers to fend for ourselves.
My dad was making sandwiches for my brother’s lunch, and asked him:
Dad: Do you like beef?
Leon: Yeah.
Dad: Do you like Nutella?
Leon: Yeah, that’s nice.
Imagine his surprise when he opened his lunchbox to find a beef and Nutella sandwich inside.
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(267 votes, average: 4.89 out of 5) Loading ...While channel-surfing, my dad stops at an educational channel that’s showing a documentary on Neanderthals—at a part of the documentary that happens to be without narration. After two full minutes of watching a Neanderthal going about his business in silence, Dad uttered: “This is a really long Geigo [sic] commercial.”
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(190 votes, average: 4.80 out of 5) Loading ...When my parents were filling out my birth certificate, my dad wanted to name me after my godfather (whose first name is Jason). However my dad forgot how to spell Jason. So instead of my middle name being Jason, Jayson, Jaison, Jasen, or any variation that sounded like Jason, my name is now Kevin ‘Jessen’ Ho.
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(204 votes, average: 4.55 out of 5) Loading ...My husband, his family, and I were out eating lunch. The waitress asked my father-in-law what he wanted, so he replied in his thick Filipino accent, “Ahh I’ll hab dee isteak isandweets (steak sandwich).”
The waitress then asked, “How would you like your steak sir?”
He confidently replied, “Ah, just cut it up.” (insert chopping hand motion)
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