My dad sent me an article about some recent thefts that occurred in our neighborhood and commented…
“This is the season burgers are most active. You need to be alert about your own safety especially inside and outside of your apartment. Burgers can look like an Innocent student with a backpack..”
My dad pondered during dinner…
“What Chinese zodiac sign do you think Jesus was? I suppose he should be a sheep, but let’s calculate to make sure…”
It turns out, 1 AD is the chicken, 2 BC is the sheep.
Dad reading a Yellowstone brochure…
“There’s elk, bears, bobcats, …, and plus more. What’s a Plusmore?”
“The reptile garden has over 5,000 types of birds, snakes, and frogs. Hmm…I’ve probably eaten most of those.”
I was shopping for beds, and I emailed my dad a canopy one with white drapes. This was his response…
“You know most Chinese decorate their house or bed this way when a family person die at home. When I sleep on this bed, and wake up at night, I would immediately jump out of the window close to me.”
My dad has dry erase boards all over the house to spread his inspirational knowledge with my favorite quote being, “Saving money for a rainy day”. After my sister got into a car accident a few years ago, he got really serious and made the “6 Safety Rules”…
#1: MAKE SURE TO GET ENOUGH SLEEPING (8 hrs a day at least)
#2:PAY ATTENTION WHILE DRIVING (Don’t turn music too Loud)
#3: WATCH TRAFFICS ARE COMING AT INTERSECTIONS
#4: DO NOT EVER FOLLOW ANOTHER CAR TOO CLOSE (more close more dangerous)
#5: WATCH AROUND YOUR CAR (by look in “side-mirror” or back-mirror sometime)
#6: ONLY DRIVER REALLY NEED TO DRIVE. (If you don’t need to drive for anything neccessary, plesae don’t drive)
My dad sent me the following email with the subject line, “Protein”…
Hey, if you are in LA not SB and hungry for protein instead of Ramen diet, then call me to get some meat for lun-ner.
I bought my parents an XBox + Kinect for Christmas, and got them Dance Central for shits and giggles. After playing through “Hey Mami” by Fannypack with a big grin on his face, my dad says:
“Oh this very good!! Your mom and I learn dancing at home, then we can go discos! Hahaha!”
I still haven’t broken the news about the current state of “discos”. I think it’s for the best.
Email from my dad:
“my hong kong # to talk to me please also check the time I am upside down plus 3 hours”
My sister and I get into fights often, but they usually end when one of us tattles on the other. In response to this, my dad always says…
“Stop being such Teletubbies! Do you really want to go underground?!?!”
Translation: Stop being tattle-tales. Do you want to get grounded?
So obviously, we can never take him seriously!