Archive for the Conversations Category
Posted on March 5, 2010 at 09:04pm
Whenever my friend and his family visits American restaurants, they only order hamburgers because that’s the only food they know how to order in English. However, they’ve always desperately wanted to try eating an American steak, so one night at a Sizzlers, my friend’s dad wanted to be adventurous and try ordering a steak (remember, he doesn’t know ANY English)…
Waitress: Hi guys, have you guys decided what you want?
Dad: Steak.
Waitress: Okay, how do you want that cooked?
Dad: …Steak.
Waitress: Right, okay, so how do you want it? Rare, medium, well done?
Dad: Yes.
Waitress: Yeah I know… umm, do you want it pink? Red? What color?
(Dad puts his head down in shame)
Dad: …Hamburger…
Posted on March 2, 2010 at 10:26pm
While talking to my dad on the phone, I decided to ask him if I could go on a trip…
Me: Dad, can I go to Korea?
Dad: When?
Me: Whenever.
Dad: Okay, I’ll pay for roundtrip ticket right now if you go and never come back until you find a husband.
Posted on February 13, 2010 at 08:58pm
I’m taking AP biology and we’re learning about genetic recombinations in bacteria. One way that bacteria can achieve genetic diversity is conjugation, or “bacteria sex.” The are joined by a sex pilli. My dad walks into my room and it just happened that I was looking at my teacher’s conjugation slide that included the word sex pilli. My dad takes a quick glimpse and exclaims:
dad: “WHA! SEX? WHAT IS THIS?”
me: “dad, this is AP bio, the word sex does come up.”
Posted on February 5, 2010 at 05:04pm
This was the conversation my dad and I had when I went to Cancun for spring break one year.
Me: Dad, I’m going to Cancun for spring break.
Dad: Will you be drinking?
Me: Yes
Dad: ok don’t drink too much because if you drink too much you’ll be a bad girl and bad girls end up on girls gone wild.
Posted on February 1, 2010 at 03:06pm
Me: Dad, can you take a picture for me and my friends?
Dad: Ok, sure. Ready? one, two, three, four. *clicks*
Me: Dad, it’s only up to three. can you retake it?
Dad: Ok. One, two, three, four, five.
We never knew when to stop posing.
Posted on January 2, 2010 at 01:36pm
Brother: I’m making grilled cheese. Who wants one?
Dad: Me.
Brother: Okay, what kind of cheese do you want?
Dad: Godzilla.
Brother: What?
Dad: GODZILLA!
Brother: WHAT?!
Dad: GODZILLA, THE CHEESE!
Me: I think he means mozzarella cheese.
Dad: Yeah, that. What you think I say?
Posted on December 27, 2009 at 05:53am
My dad has been in America for a long time, but his understanding of idioms and phrases is still limited.
Me: Frank Sinatra could sing for a long time.
Dad: Yeah, he could really belch it out.
Me: Belch? What the hell?
Dad: Yeah.
Me: I fucking love Lady Gaga.
Dad: She’s just a flash in the pants.
Dad: He’s butt-naked.
Me: Butt-naked? Isn’t it buck-naked?
Dad: That doesn’t make any sense.
Posted on December 10, 2009 at 12:27am
My parents and I were getting ready to go out. My dad was trying to take his murse (male purse) and I was giving him a hard time about it, so he decided to forgo the murse. Later on before we left, he saw me grab my very own purse… and so goes this convo
Dad: hey YOU’re carrying a purse.
Me: dad’s it’s okay because I am a girl
Dad: well that’s a SEXY remark.
Me: huh?
Mom: you mean SEXIEST, yubo.
Me: whaat? you fobs, you mean SEXIST?!!
Dad: yeah that word.
Posted on December 7, 2009 at 09:33pm
My sister was talking to my dad about a friend on fb who posted a somewhat offensive note and keeps trying to IM her.
Sister: He’s so annoying–I just ignore him all the time.
Dad: Why don’t you deface him?
Sister: Really?
Dad: Yea! I do it all the time!
*Silence*
Sister: You mean “unfriend” him?
Dad: But it’s FACE-book.
Posted on December 7, 2009 at 09:31pm
me: mommy
me: whats up!
Mommy: I am not your mommy. i am your daddy and checking her e- mail
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