November 2009

First Impressions

November 30, 2009

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My parents are in China and have just met the girlfriend of a family friend. This is our conversation via gchat.

me: what’s she like?
dad: thin
pale face
cool palms
we touch her hands
not warm
her hands are not warm

{ 6 comments }

Family = ?

November 29, 2009

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (299 votes, average: 4.69 out of 5)
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gchat conversation with my father:

me: what r u doing
Dad: playing with computer and listening mom’s gossip while she is cooking
Dad: do you know what family stands for?
me: no what does it stand for
Dad: i will give a hint. “fa” stands for father.
me: LOL
m
stands
for mom
?
Dad: you got it, “M”. YOU SHOULD ASK PEOPLE TOMIGHT ABOUT ILY
me: LOL
HAHAHA
what does ily
stand for?
do you know what LOL means
Dad: OK. Father, Mother, I love You= FAMILY
DID YOU GET IT?
me: AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
yes
I DO
that is nice
daddy
good job
now, do you know what LOL MEANS?!?!
Dad: Laugh out loud

{ 5 comments }

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (132 votes, average: 3.88 out of 5)
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I went to go visit my godfather this past weekend for his 60th birthday, and while I was checking email after dinner he pops his head in the room and asks me:

Godfather: Do you want to watch Beyonce’s DVD with me?
me (right now I’m confused because what 60 year old man know about beyonce?): Why do you have Beyonce’s DVD?
Godfather: Because I just bought it
me (by this time I’m laughing): Why did you buy it?
Godfather: Because! I like Beyonce!
me (still laughing): umm….no, I think I’ll pass….

My godbrother tells me about an hour later over facebook that his dad told him that he just watched the best music video of all time.

{ 2 comments }

Getting His Winter Fashion On!

November 23, 2009

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This is what my uncle requested as a gift for Christmas; not a coffee mug, or fishing pole, or money but Uggs. Moreover, he is also very proud of the fact that he knows how to sew!

uggs

{ 8 comments }

Self Massage

November 22, 2009

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I received an email from my dad this week with only a subject line that said “Self Massage.” There wasn’t a message, just a video file, also titled “Self Massage.”

With a subject line like that I wasn’t sure what my dad was trying to tell me. Why does he think I need a massage? What exactly am I supposed to be self-massaging? Is it because I am stressed out with school? Or is it because I’m single and don’t have someone else to massage me in places I would otherwise be able to massage myself.

I finally opened the video a couple days later. Turns out, dad sent me a CCTV (Chinese television) clip of a doctor explaining ways to give yourself a head massage. I’m now supposed to rub my temple clockwise 20 times a day. Thanks for looking out, dad.

{ 0 comments }

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (176 votes, average: 4.64 out of 5)
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One day while playing ping-pong with my dad, I decided to tell him a joke—yes, that famous joke that everyone knows the answer to. This is our conversation…

me: What goes up but never comes down?
*Dad thinks for a very very very long time and very very very hard*
me: Did you hear me?
Dad: yes, I did.
*Dad thinks a little more”
Dad: This is a hard one… butuhh i think its…*pause* The… inflation of the dollar rising in value which results in… uh… the cost… and… (somewhere in his explanation I get lost)
me: Dad, the answer is ‘your age’
Dad: Oh. Well, that too, I guess.

{ 3 comments }

Dads Don’t Do Lists?

November 18, 2009

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I’ve been bugging my friend to submit this, but she kept forgetting. SO I thought I’d send it in anyway. Her dad wrote out a grocery list to remember what to get at the store. Check it out!

grocerylist

{ 3 comments }

Ox…whaaat?

November 17, 2009

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I’m a Masters student in English Literature applying to Phd programs next year, and since I spoke to my dad about applying to schools in Australia, UK and Canada, my dad sent me this email about a potential school to look into.

haro girl,

Do you rember last time I told you to apply to that Universtiy in the uK call cow something one? It is Top univeirsty in your field, apparetnly i heard your aunt Josie say Ming Ur cousin got acpted. Mebe you can consider it as well.

Love from Home,
your Daddy

{ 7 comments }

Only One on the Tree?

November 15, 2009

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (105 votes, average: 4.38 out of 5)
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An email from my dad about a giant guava that is only 1, 1 year old??

———- Forwarded message ———-
From: James
Date: Fri, Nov 13, 2009 at 7:10 PM
Subject: Our back yard Giant Guava
To: Denise

Hi Denise,

Look at this giant Guava from our back yard.
it’s big and it’s only one so far.

Daddy

guava

{ 4 comments }

Napping with the Dog

November 14, 2009

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This is what my dad does at the beach :)
beachnap

{ 4 comments }