My mom wants my dad to lose weight so she has banned red meat in the house. I’m going home after a long time, so my dad excitedly texts me…
Dad: U want Kababs. Pl say yes so that I can eat too!!!!!!!!! Me: awwww i’ll consider it! Dad: So its a YeS Me: let’s not jump to conclusions… Dad: Iam already thinking abt them, make me hungry. Let’s eat it. With CHATNi Me: you know i have to post this to my dad is a fob rite? Dad: common but why Me: this is too funny Dad: ok post whereever, but Kababs r in right
I was in a car accident this past weekend while driving to Philadelphia. My parents drove up from Baltimore to pick my friends and me up from the hospital and drive us back to school in Pittsburgh. They drove home afterward and this is the email I got from my dad the next morning:
Today, you mom said servral time to me. she said “she should stay with you last night to help you got it out of bad dream… ” well How can I said . because she is a Mom. as you know, she also has worry about your brother, a still unmatured boy to stay home alone first time. try to understand your Mom.
I only can said to her. “Cindy is smart and strong girl, she will be put the bad dream shorter and come back a health daughter. ”
Cindy, You don’t have to worry anything, since it happened. Mom and Dad will take everything. We so happy to see there is nothing to happen to yourself, We see a good health daughter. You are our infinited trasure and happiness. rather other.
I’m currently a Junior in high school, and my dad always stresses the importance of this year. He checked my grades online, and I had a B in two classes (AP US History and AP Calculus BC). When I came home from school, I got this e-mail…
—
Helen:
Your grade is drop to much, you have excuse for A- , then you will excuse for B- , then C……… It is totally not acceptable in this heavy competition year. Would you please shift your focusing point on the study from other distractions. You have no time to waste and to waste high school time will ruins your future badly. Your mom is the example of a pretty girl of not study hard. You will affect other boys and their parents do not allowed this happen to their kids , if their kids failed you are the first one to be blamed forever as In Chinese say ” Hu Li Jing ” (a fox spirit, a seductive woman). A term that Asian blame a pretty girl who make boy or other family failed.
Apparently I’d fallen asleep while chatting with my mum the other night. She was worried that I was stressed and not sleeping/eating well. Dad told me this today, so I tried to assuage him by telling him my sleeping was regular, and that I’d been doing well on the eating front. I told him that for dinner, I had leftover beef noodle soup (牛肉麺) with soba noodles and a cucumber/avocado/grapefruit salad with a grated ginger/ground sesame seeds/ponzu dressing. This was his reply.
An actual email written by my dad to my youngest brother, which he graciously cc’ed to the rest of the family. At the time, my brother Jon was studying abroad in China.
Jon,
Morgan forwarded your e-mail to him to us. We understand you bought a bike. I hope you will be careful in riding the bike in China. Most of the time they are not obeying the traffic rules. The car never allow bike or pedestrian go first. The car and other biker make turns without signaling. I hope you will be on guard all the time when you are ridding your bike. We don’t want you to get hurt. Your mother wants you to put wet towel on your neck if you feel too hot outside. Keep the chocolate with you until we told you to contact him. Are you using the clean wipe to clean the chopstick and bowl before eating? When you had loose stool, did you take the pill? You should take the pill as soon as you don’t feel right. It always worked for me and stopped the problem right away.
My dad is Japanese and my mom is Vietnamese. Today we went to a Vietnamese restaurant and as we were packing up the leftovers, my dad went so far as to label the containers. The container of rice (com in vietnamese) read “Gum”. Another container containing soup (Canh Chua) read “Gun Jew”. The container of meat (thit kho) read “Tikkaw”. I couldn’t stop laughing even after we got home!
My dad used the music software we got him for Christmas to make a rap about my mom and her friends playing Mahjong. The music video is set in our family living room.
I’m studying abroad for law school, so my dad sent this really cute birthday email to me (I turned 24 so it’s also my zodiac year of the ox):
The 24 hearts are our devotions to you
The 24 flowers are our congratulations to you
The 24 little red suns are we feel about you
Some red crabs are just for fun we send you
The 24 cellular phones are the favorite toys of you
The 24 bags are for shopping much needed by you
The 24 red horn mavericks are just you you you …
Happy birthday. Love. -Dm
We skyped later about it and the conversation went something like this:
Dad: Did you like my email? Me: I thought it was so sweet! Thanks so much! Two questions though. What shopping bags are you talking about? Those are cake slices! Dad: Oh really?? Hmm…my eyesight isn’t as good as it used to be. I must be getting old. Me: And what’s a red-horned maverick? Dad: You don’t know what a maverick is? It’s a baby cow! Me: But those are devil faces, Dad…. Dad: WHAAAT. Those are cow faces with red horns!
(4.93 out of 5)