text #1 from dad:
(Yo supYo supYosupYo)Jenfferedadcareyouforeq
my reply:
Wow congratulations! U sent me a text message
text #2 from dad:
Daftthankyouencourgene
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My friend couldn’t take care of this puppy he found and had to give it away. I told my parents about the puppy. My dad did some research and sent me this email at work today:
Matt.: From google research, the begale is very active animal. She needs to exercise every day. Without the boundary or fence, she will run away due to hunting behavior. She needs a well training at the beginning otherwise she never obey her master. So before you bring her home, please finish the following things:
Wah! Good luck!
Dad
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Dad: Hey, isn’t this yellow watermelon so sweet?
Me: Yea, it’s pretty good.
Dad: You know how I choose it?
Me: You slap the watermelon, right? And pound it?
Mom: Yes, you have to slap the watermelon to see if there is juice.
Dad: NOOOPE. That’s not how you do it.
Me: Then how do you do it?
Dad: YOU POKE THE BUTTHOLE. AND IF THE BUTTHOLE IS HARD, THEN IT IS GOOD. IF THE BUTTHOLE IS SOFT, IT IS NO GOOD.
According to him, 10 out of 10 times it has worked.
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Today is my 25th birthday, so my dad called.
Dad, “Happy birthday! You know, 25 years is the center of the normal curve. Your health will now start declining.”
Thanks, Dad.
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This is a conversation with my boyfriend’s dad:
(bf changes to cartoon channel, Spongebob comes on screen)
bf’s dad: Change channel please, I don’t like this show.
us: What, why? Spongebob is awesome!
bf’s dad: I don’t like the main character.
us: Um, what’s wrong with Spongebob?
bf’s dad: Don’t you think there’s something funny about the name Spongebob Wetpants?
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Here’s an email my dad sent me after I told him that I got accepted into film school. This email was written in font 48, color = orange.
conglatiation!!
mi amor…..
very good!!
you are a cooooooooooooooooooooooooooooool..
i pride of you…..
wonderful!!!!
girl…
apa…
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This is my father in law, who is pretty much the greatest person in existence. I asked him if he knew what the hat meant, and he responded “Of course I do! I have 3 kid!”

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