My Dad is a Fob

Gone Hunting

Posted on July 30, 2009 at 10:44pm

While on vacation, my brother was making everyone laugh by trying on silly hats and holding souvenirs, including a Crockett hat and fake rifle. My dad thought it would be fun to join in. If he was ever a real hunter, I don’t think he could catch anything with that face.

Dad’s New Tattoo Suggestion

Posted on July 30, 2009 at 10:39pm

This is a conversation I recently had with my dad over dinner on my most recent visit home:

Me: Appa, do you like my new tattoo? (Flashes my dad the inside of my right wrist which reads a nickname that he always calls me)
Dad: (In thick Korean accent) Oh, yes, Sarah! Your daddy is-a soooo awesome! All your friends like that one?
Me: Yeah, they do. I’m thinking about getting another one, actually…
Dad: I have perfect tattoo for you, Sarah. You should get tattoo that says, “In Search of Handsome Boy to Marry” riiiiiight here! (Points to forehead and breaks into hysterical laughter)

A Good Use of the Thesaurus

Posted on July 28, 2009 at 05:48pm

My nephew, Jalen, is turning one so my dad decided to buy a birthday card for him. It took him about an hour to write something using his dictionary/thesaurus. The result…

Hi Jallen:
Birthday so gay. You life so happy like a blooming flower. In the garden of eternal joy.
We all love you from Grandma & grandpa 7/18/09

DeODERize?

Posted on July 28, 2009 at 05:44pm

a sign my dad made when our shower was out of order

Hit-n-run-n-note

Posted on July 26, 2009 at 06:32pm

Apparently, when my dad first moved to California from the Philippines, he hit a parked car. He drove home and told my grandpa who told him, “Things in the US are not like in the Philippines! You have to leave a note.”

Contents of note:
“Sorry I hit your car. —[my dad]“

Facebook “Like”

Posted on July 26, 2009 at 06:23pm

My dad realized that he had opened up a Facebook account several months ago and decided to reactivate it. He came up to me with a printed version of the email from Facebook and said, “Jas, help me get my Facebook account working.” I agreed and added him as my friend at the end.

Five hours later, I was notified that someone had commented on my Facebook status:

Ken BT at 10:27pm July 13
Hi dear, don’t know how to accept you on facebook. But to me, you are
always accepted, in any shape or form.
Plan something for your b-day & let me know. Love, dad.

Turn the Other Cheek

Posted on July 23, 2009 at 10:49pm

My dad had a business meeting today. An economical man through and through, Papa decided to bring home some of the leftover food. He was even kind enough to label the sandwiches.

Every Chinese Father Knows Kung Fu…

Posted on July 23, 2009 at 10:46pm

My girlfriend of two years took me to a gigantic family gathering under the pressure of her parents. As soon as I got there and greeted her parents, her father dragged me off to show me off to the “uncles”.

dad in chinese: this is my oldest daughter’s boyfriend!
uncles in chinese: hey, pretty good looking boy!
me in chinese: no no not really haha, thank you.
dad in english: he also boxing and kung fu! he does bruce lee kung fu!
one of the uncles in english: come on young man, fight me.
me in english: no it’s okay (fear of hurting him)
uncle in english: it’s okay! I take kung fu when I was young! We all take kung fu! *points at bicep and signals me to punch*
me: *lightly jabs him in the bicep playfully*
dad in chinese: you don’t give face to the uncles! hit him harder!
uncles in english: box harder young man!
me in english: sigh, okay… *throws a punch at his bicep knocks him into the other uncles*
uncle in english: *gets up* i’m okay! I know kung fu!

he was obviously hurt…

Dads Are Just Omniscient

Posted on July 21, 2009 at 05:58pm

From: Me
To: Dad

I’m waitlisted for my GE philosphy class, but I’m #1 on the waitlist so I think I’ll get in.

From: Dad
To: Me

This is a good example of the reason why I wished you plan the 4-year schedule, when any case happened to change a class, you can pick up quickly from the list which you planned carefully before. It can help you to prevent the mistake.

This is my way in the career life, I always planned 3-5 years ahead to forecast coming future. Actually, I forecasted the 2008 Financial downturn during 2006, but few people believed me then.

Cheers,
Dad

Shiitake Mushrooms

Posted on July 21, 2009 at 05:54pm

My mom and I were shopping at a Japanese grocery store when my dad texted me:

Honey dere,
Buy the shit somthing mush room. We need for hot pot toonight.

-Dady