(205 votes, average: 4.69 out of 5)
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April 2009
(391 votes, average: 4.82 out of 5) Loading ...Before we had cell phones, my friend called me on a weekend where I was out of the state and my dad answered:
Dad: Hello?
Friend: Hi, May I please speak to June?
Dad: Oh! She is in Washington DC! She be back next Wednesday.
Friend: Huh? Oh, okay… have her give me a call when she’s done. *click*
Later that week when I saw her at school, she said to me in a serious tone,
“June, hi! I called you this weekend but your dad said you were washing the dishes and he said you’d be done Wednesday. I didn’t know it takes that long for your family to wash dishes.”
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(223 votes, average: 4.51 out of 5) Loading ...I was at a Chinese restaurant with my dad today. My chopstick skill is apparently not to my dad’s liking…
Dad: When are you going to learn how to use your chopsticks properly? I’ll teach you.
Me: What, I’m fine. I can pick food up, that’s all that matters.
Dad: It’s like I’m giving you the choice between a Yugo and a Mercedes.
Me: What’s a Yugo?
Dad: It’s a car they made a long time ago, they made a lot of them and then they’d break down because they were bad. You keep driving your Yugo, but I’m offering you a Mercedes.
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(421 votes, average: 4.86 out of 5) Loading ...Today, at dinner.
Dad: You know, John (the son of one of his friends) got into Harvard for grad school.
Me: Uh-huh.
Dad: John is a very nice boy. Very obedient to his parents.
Me: Okay.
Dad: It would make me very happy if you married him one day. Maybe when you are twenty-three and out of grad school.
Me: Look, Baba. First of all, I’m seventeen. Secondly, I’ve never even spoken to this John person.
Dad: He got into Harvard. What more could you ask for in a guy?
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(511 votes, average: 4.90 out of 5) Loading ...Voicemail from dad 1: YO.
Voicemail from dad 2: WHAD UP
Voicemail from dad 3: CALL ME BACK YO
Voicemail from dad 4: okay now seriously Carolyn where are you?
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(243 votes, average: 4.49 out of 5) Loading ...My father and I were on a college road trip when Beyonce’s Single Ladies came on the radio.
Dad: ALL THE SINGLE LANES! ALL THE SINGLE LANES!
Me: What?
Dad: What funny song, sing about single lanes. Look we’re on single lane!
Later that day, my dad took a wrong turn and got stuck near a government building. Two police officers came out to offer help.
Police Officer: Sir, you’re going in the wrong direction.
Dad: I WAS STUCKED!
Police Officer: Just go through those cones up ahead.
Dad: O! SANK U!
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(88 votes, average: 2.55 out of 5) Loading ...ME:
i found a hilarious website. this is one of my favorites:
http://mydadisafob.com/2008/11/16/dead-bunny/
:)
Dad, why don’t you email me anymore????
__________________________________________________________________________________________________
in response, my dad writes back:
DAD:
We’ve been overwhelmed with the kitchen renovation. There are dust everywhere. You will
get a glimpse of the disaster when you come home next week, although the worst should be
in better control by then. As you probably know, we have to eat at the grandparents house
daily since there is no kitchen nor space and refrigeration. What are you doing for Easter?
Incidentally, your 2 cousins of no blood lost their second wabbit as it stopped eating and
pooping before it finally croaked after 4 day & 4 nights!
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(238 votes, average: 4.74 out of 5) Loading ...My dad, brother, and I were watching a movie one night…
Dad: When you say, “move your butt over here,” you actually have two butts, right? Do you have one butt, or two butts?
Me: One butt.
Dad: But do you have one, or two buttocks?
Me: Two. We’ve already had this conversation.
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(700 votes, average: 4.89 out of 5) Loading ...So my dad and I were finishing up a road trip and we were at the Canada/US border.
Customs Agent: Do you have anything to declare?
Dad: No
Customs Agent: No drugs? Alcohol? Firearms?
Dad: We bought lots of coke. BIG pack of coke.
Customs Agent: Sir?
Me: He means this (I point to the 24-pack of Coke in our back seat)
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(362 votes, average: 4.88 out of 5) Loading ...This is an email dialogue between my father and me:
ME: Hello!
DAD: I am fine.
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