My Dad is a Fob

The only requirement

Posted on April 14, 2009 at 03:02am

Today, at dinner.

Dad: You know, John (the son of one of his friends) got into Harvard for grad school.
Me: Uh-huh.
Dad: John is a very nice boy. Very obedient to his parents.
Me: Okay.
Dad: It would make me very happy if you married him one day. Maybe when you are twenty-three and out of grad school.
Me: Look, Baba. First of all, I’m seventeen. Secondly, I’ve never even spoken to this John person.
Dad: He got into Harvard. What more could you ask for in a guy?

After the beep

Posted on April 14, 2009 at 02:54am

Voicemail from dad 1: YO.
Voicemail from dad 2: WHAD UP
Voicemail from dad 3: CALL ME BACK YO
Voicemail from dad 4: okay now seriously Carolyn where are you?

Road trip

Posted on April 14, 2009 at 02:47am

My father and I were on a college road trip when Beyonce’s Single Ladies came on the radio.

Dad: ALL THE SINGLE LANES! ALL THE SINGLE LANES!
Me: What?
Dad: What funny song, sing about single lanes. Look we’re on single lane!

Later that day, my dad took a wrong turn and got stuck near a government building. Two police officers came out to offer help.

Police Officer: Sir, you’re going in the wrong direction.
Dad: I WAS STUCKED!
Police Officer: Just go through those cones up ahead.
Dad: O! SANK U!

Speaking of which…

Posted on April 14, 2009 at 02:29am

ME:

i found a hilarious website. this is one of my favorites:

http://mydadisafob.com/2008/11/16/dead-bunny/

:)

Dad, why don’t you email me anymore????

__________________________________________________________________________________________________

in response, my dad writes back:
DAD:

We’ve been overwhelmed with the kitchen renovation.  There are dust everywhere.  You will
get a glimpse of the disaster when you come home next week, although the worst should be
in better control by then.  As you probably know, we have to eat at the grandparents house
daily since there is no kitchen nor space and refrigeration.  What are you doing for Easter?

Incidentally, your 2 cousins of no blood lost their second wabbit as it stopped eating and
pooping before it finally croaked after 4 day & 4 nights!

Being an ass

Posted on April 14, 2009 at 02:23am

My dad, brother, and I were watching a movie one night…

Dad: When you say, “move your butt over here,” you actually have two butts, right?  Do you have one butt, or two butts?
Me: One butt.
Dad: But do you have one, or two buttocks?
Me: Two.  We’ve already had this conversation.