(247 votes, average: 4.80 out of 5)
Loading ...Dad’s birthday wishes started to sound urgent this year:
{ 7 comments }
April 2009
(247 votes, average: 4.80 out of 5) Loading ... (235 votes, average: 4.83 out of 5) Loading ...My dad and I were talking about colonoscopies on Skype. In the midst of all seriousness, he suddenly went off topic:
Dad: it is very uncomfrotable
Dad: But can find cancer in the initial stage
Me: oh yeah, i heard it’s painful. i think it’s called a colonoscopy
Dad: any girl show you …hole?
Dad: girl friend
Dad: yes
Dad: any …?
{ 9 comments }
(268 votes, average: 4.87 out of 5) Loading ...“Have you heard about the wine flu!? It’s already in Mexico, California, and Texas. Don’t drink alcohol.”
{ 3 comments }
(329 votes, average: 4.75 out of 5) Loading ...I was arguing with my dad:
me: You don’t understand!
dad: Y’all don’t understand! Oh hot damn!
me: What?
dad: In the ayer, ayer, ayer!
me: Okay..
dad: What does ‘ayer’ mean in teenager lingo anyways?
me: Just don’t ever say that again…
{ 6 comments }
(617 votes, average: 4.89 out of 5) Loading ...My dad is a pastor so I emailed him this funny quote on sermons…
Me: Hi dad, here’s a funny quote i found regarding sermons.
“The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.”
- George Burns
He then replied with…
Dad: Jake,
The secret of a good student is to have a good start and a good graduation, then having the two as close together as possible saving time and money.
{ 17 comments }
(470 votes, average: 4.87 out of 5) Loading ...I was at a review session when I got this text from my dad
“Hi son, daddy text you!!! You have cool daddy!!! Call cool daddy ok? I lub u!!”
{ 13 comments }
(253 votes, average: 4.82 out of 5) Loading ...I was driving on the 91 and the hills are covered in flowers:
Dad: wow! so beautiful! what a feast…
Me: what?
Dad: you know… feasting my eyes. what you never heard that?
Me: where did you learn that?
Dad: oh-oh-seven. you know james bond? i watch at uncle’s house. bond says that to women: what a feast for my eyes!
{ 0 comments }
(375 votes, average: 4.73 out of 5) Loading ...My younger sister tells me about one time when my dad was driving, she was listening to the radio and Rihanna’s song Umbrella comes on:
Rihanna: You can stand under my umbrella, ella, eh eh eh..
Dad: B B C C
{ 6 comments }
(281 votes, average: 1.87 out of 5) Loading ...I had an interesting conversation with my dad earlier today.
We had a bbq and brought out the food umbrellas out to keep the critters
out.
dad: “How very Oriental of us to use these things.”
me: “Why do you say that?”
dad: “Remember when we used to use them in Japan?”
me: “Yea, but the term Oriental is derogatory. People from Europe back in
the day used that as a way to objectify and commodify Asians. Like,
describing an object or a flavor of top ramen or something. It’s also
negative in a sense where the wonderful missionaries felt the need to save
the backwards heathens of the east. The correct term to use these days is
‘Asian’ dad, and we ain’t rugs.”
*dad pauses for a moment*
dad: “Ok. Those umbrella’s are Oriental.”
I did a face plant in
3…
2…
1…
Gotta love your parents~
{ 19 comments }
(200 votes, average: 4.77 out of 5) Loading ...This was a conversation between my sister and my dad. She was in high school and was talking about getting a car.
Sister: Dad, there’s a kid at my school that has an Escalade.
Dad: Escalade?
Sister: Yeah Escalade.
Dad: …. (stares)
Sister: You know what that is right?
Dad: yeah the thing you go up on…like in airports.
Sister: Dad, that’s an escalator…
{ 0 comments }