Pulled a Rush Hour 3
My Dad was calling the car insurance company. The lady asks, who’s policy is this? My dad goes, “I am Yu.” She hangs up.
Loading ...Street Hookahs
Our dad smokes a lot so me and my sisters were trying to slyly convince him to get into some hookah. We thought he knew what we were talking about. He didn’t.
Us: Yeah there’s lots of places downtown where you could get hookah.
Dad: Mmhhmm like on the streets.
Us: Uhh yeah in those lounges.
Dad: But the ones on the corner, they’re so expensive.
Us: Which hookah in the corner?
Dad: Her name is Candy.
Asian Dad Bike Brigade
Complete with not completely rubbed in SPF 50…for total coverage.
When You Were a Sperm…
When watching an old video during my dad’s company picnic…
me: hey dad, when was that?
Dad: 1988. You haven’t been born yet.
-pause-
Dad: (turns to brother) You know, you were still a sperm.
Not Subtle at All
Min Joung,
I am forwrding an article about dealing with control freaks.
It may help you understand and deal with your mom.
Dad
MJ, We Still Love You
When we found out MJ died, my younger brother asked, “What’s going to happen to all his money?”
My dad grunted, “What money, that go to all little kid he rape!”
RIP Michael.
Sherlock doesn’t stand a chance
My dad left for the airport to go overseas this morning. Later, I received this text from him before his connecting flight in LA:
“I m / n, g ^k f GRE”
At first I thought there was something wrong with the text. I called him back immediately and found out that the forward slash meant “up” and he was wishing me luck on the GRE.
“I am up (boarding) now, good luck for GRE”
First Name (No) Last Name
I have a friend who’s middle name is “No”, because when her dad was filling out her birth certificate, there was no middle name for her, so that’s what he wrote.
U Ho!
My dad was once called Comcast and the client services rep asked him to spell his name.
My dad started, trying to be as clear as possible, “G for GOO. U for UHO…”
“U Ho??” The rep was so confused.
I finally had to step in “G for GooD (no silent D), U for U HAUL…”
Financially Saavy Buffets
Dad: buffet bought Suncor!
Me: huh? which one?
Dad: Suncor, you know, the canadian oil sands
Me: yea, I know, but which buffet? Can buffets even buy stock?
Dad: yea, buffet buys stock all the time
Me: Which buffet? Crazy Buffet?
Dad:…er…no, Warren Buffet.
Me: OHHH, you mean Warren BuffeTT. As in Buh-FET, not Bufay
Highest Rated: The All Stars
- First Name (No) Last Name
(4.97 out of 5) - Stick figure reminders (4.95 out of 5)
- Doing yard work in style (4.95 out of 5)
- One syllable makes a huge difference
(4.94 out of 5) - I don’t snort (4.92 out of 5)
- No Somoking (4.92 out of 5)
- E-touching (4.92 out of 5)
- Dead bunny (4.91 out of 5)
- Gassy Getaway (4.91 out of 5)
- That’s how I do (4.91 out of 5)
- First Name (No) Last Name
