Lost in Meaty Translation

Posted on March 5, 2010 at 09:04pm

Whenever my friend and his family visits American restaurants, they only order hamburgers because that’s the only food they know how to order in English. However, they’ve always desperately wanted to try eating an American steak, so one night at a Sizzlers, my friend’s dad wanted to be adventurous and try ordering a steak (remember, he doesn’t know ANY English)…

Waitress: Hi guys, have you guys decided what you want?
Dad: Steak.
Waitress: Okay, how do you want that cooked?
Dad: …Steak.
Waitress: Right, okay, so how do you want it? Rare, medium, well done?
Dad: Yes.
Waitress: Yeah I know… umm, do you want it pink? Red? What color?
(Dad puts his head down in shame)
Dad: …Hamburger…

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Dad is My Biggest Fan!

Posted on March 4, 2010 at 09:26am

An email exchange between me and my Dad, after I sent him a picture of my newly-shorn hair…

Me:

It’s too short!!!!!!

Dad:

Gagan you look sosoooo cute, it is not short the hair appear perfect!!!

love dad

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The Cost of an Airline Ticket

Posted on March 2, 2010 at 10:26pm

While talking to my dad on the phone, I decided to ask him if I could go on a trip…

Me: Dad, can I go to Korea?
Dad: When?
Me: Whenever.
Dad: Okay, I’ll pay for roundtrip ticket right now if you go and never come back until you find a husband.

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In Good Hands

Posted on February 27, 2010 at 06:11pm

My parents emailed me to wish me merry christmas, and I replied in reciprocation as well as to ask about my puppy that they are watching over. Here’s his reply:

Hi Kaun,

We are happy to hear that you are happy.  Yesterday, we were all at Doug’s grand parents’ house for a Christmas celebration. Yes, Baily always follows me everywhere I go in the house. He likes to bring his rope for me and Mom to play with him. Whever he sees me put my tennis shoes on, he is getting excited immediately and he knows I will be taking him out. I takes him out 3 or 4 times a day.  We have 16″ snow here and it’s very cold ( freezing). I still take him outside for a long walk, even at 11 pm. Sometimes bc it’s was still raining in the morning, I let him pi and poub on the snow on the deck twice. He is with me and Mom now in the study room. We miss you, Kaun.

Love,
Dad

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My Dad is a Fob: Olympic Version!

Posted on February 20, 2010 at 08:36pm

OMG MY DAD IS HILARIOUS. My Dad lives in Vancouver and I live in New York right now. Currently the Olympics are going on. He calls speed skating “ICE RUNNING”, men’s figure skating “MAN ICE DANCE” and skiing “DOWN THE HILL”

From: Dad
Date: Fri, Feb 19, 2010
Subject: Re: alice, how are you today ? have you had dinner yet ?
To: Alice

no hockey , i watch 2000 ice run and man ice dance and down the hill and Canada get an other gold . I meet anner’s mom yesterday she told me that anner work in the hong kong bank in victoria , her possession is account manager.

On Thu, Feb 18, 2010, Alice wrote:

I’m good dad how are you? My friend emily cooked me dinner today. Did you watch the hockey game?

On Thu, Feb 18, 2010, Dad wrote:

alice, how are you today ? have you had dinner yet ?
dad

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200NT & No Alcohol Please.

Posted on February 20, 2010 at 08:30pm

My dad always sends me these emails that can be described as broken English (although my dad doesn’t actually speak like this…) and he always signs his emails with his name, instead of something like “dad.”

——————-
Subject: Happy Chinese New Year
Joanna,

Where are you going to spend Chinese New Year eve? Home with friend? Out eat with friend? Have a fun and enjoy, no alcohol please.

What do you want me to bring for home?

Jeff
——————-

After this email, we exchanged some information. I told him that I wanted this chapstick that I was only able to find in Taiwan. I told him I wanted 2. In the morning I woke up and saw this email:

——————-
Subject: Re: Happy Chinese New Year

I got it that cost you NT$ 200.00.

Jeff
——————-

Thanks dad. That’s US$6!! This isn’t the first time he’s asked me for money either… for my mother’s birthday I asked him to buy her flowers and we’d split the cost.

I called my mom and asked her if she got flowers. My dad, often being “economical” (or the nice way of saying cheap)… My mom says “he got me carnations.” Then in the background I hear my dad yell “you owe me $2.50!”

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Skype for Irish Tattoo Permission

Posted on February 16, 2010 at 07:25pm

When I tried to convince my dad that I should study abroad in Ireland, his response was pretty convincing:

Dear Chichi,

Me and Mama don’t want you to go to Ireland. We know that study in Europe is good choice but we know that Ireland is still bad. Mama told me that you could become bad girl and get tattoo. You know that since Char (older sister) got one, we are much more understanding; however, we do not want you to get one. Please skpe before you get one.

Love,
Baba and Mama

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AP Bio Sex Ed?

Posted on February 13, 2010 at 08:58pm

I’m taking AP biology and we’re learning about genetic recombinations in bacteria. One way that bacteria can achieve genetic diversity is conjugation, or “bacteria sex.” The are joined by a sex pilli. My dad walks into my room and it just happened that I was looking at my teacher’s conjugation slide that included the word sex pilli.  My dad takes a quick glimpse and exclaims:
dad: “WHA! SEX? WHAT IS THIS?”
me: “dad, this is AP bio, the word sex does come up.”

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Party in the USA!

Posted on February 9, 2010 at 07:45pm

I work today and will home at 9pm. Please remeber to take care the dogs ….. let them out for party before you go out. secury the back doors. and enougth water.
Tahnks!

Daddy

**party=poddy. lol

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Cancun Advice

Posted on February 5, 2010 at 05:04pm

This was the conversation my dad and I had when I went to Cancun for spring break one year.

Me: Dad, I’m going to Cancun for spring break.
Dad: Will you be drinking?
Me: Yes
Dad: ok don’t drink too much because if you drink too much you’ll be a bad girl and bad girls end up on girls gone wild.

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